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Man Sues Medieval Times Restaurant for Blinding Him During Sword Fight

man blinded by medieval times sword
Dustin Wiseman and his wife Melissa

You really hate to see something like this happen at a classy joint like Medieval Times. It’s America’s finest theme restaurant, AND America’s finest restaurant where you aren’t allowed to use utensils.

Last April, 37-year-old Dustin Wiseman and his wife Melissa of Bryant, South Dakota were on their honeymoon in Southern California.  And like any good honeymoon, theirs included a trip to Medieval Times. A hopeless romantic I know, but back off ladies – Dustin’s taken.

The newly weds went to the Medieval Times in Buena Park, California, where they sat in the front row, ate chicken with their hands, and drank Ye Olde Pepsi products while knights jousted on horses and had sword fights in front of them.

But while two knights fought near where they were sitting, a shard of metal flew off a sword and right into Dustin’s left eye tearing his cornea and leaving him completely blind in that eye. Lucky. When I went to Medieval Times all I could think about was poking my own eyes out.

Dustin has recently filed a lawsuit against Medieval Times seeking seeking $10 million in damages. He is accusing the restaurant of not taking proper precautions to protect their customers. Oh but you’re forgetting Dustin, proper precautions were not taken IN medieval times hence there are no proper precautions taken AT Medieval Times. So you lose.

Oh, and he is also saying that the incident ruined their honeymoon. No Dustin, your honeymoon was ruined the moment you and your wife decided to celebrate your union at a dirt-filled arena full of screaming kids, horrible food and wannabe actors.

Now enjoy this Medieval Times scene from The Cable Guy:

[CBS 2 - Los Angeles / OC Weekly]

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