Man Stole Toilet Paper In His Butt Cheeks

I suppose Roger Pinkham, like the rest of us, hates to run out of toilet paper. The Massachusetts man was recently arrested for stealing TP from his employer. The mystifying thing is how he was getting it out – wedged in his butt cheeks!

You may be asking yourself the how and why of this. Don’t worry, I’m asking the same questions.

When the cops got 53-year-old Roger Pinkham to the stationhouse, they realized the crime was still in progress: Pinkham allegedly "pulled six tightly folded toilet paper rolls from his buttocks and groin area"
Or maybe he was just trying to acquaint the TP with their eventual destination.

Indeed. I don’t think I could smuggle out one roll of toilet paper, much less 6 at a time. This guy has talent! Sure, he’s a dumb criminal, but I have to give this one kudos. I’d love to see if listeners are up to the task of hiding 6 rolls themselves, though I’m not up to the challenge.