Bizarre Way #497 to Kill a Neighbor: Strangle ‘em With Your Bra
Some things you simple cannot make up. I can see this becoming the basis for a new Rodney Carrington tune. It most certainly will find it’s way into an episode of ‘Law & Order: Criminal Intent’. You can bank on that in Dodge City!
This is specifically for you ladies (or at least that is my hope): have you ever drank too much? Have have you ever been so completely schnockered that you thought “hey, let’s go strangle an elderly person!” Well, of course not! You wouldn’t do that!
The actual names of those involved have not been released, so we’ll call the accused woman ‘Natalya’ and her boyfriend’s name will be ‘Bubba’. OK, so ‘Bubba’ isn’t very Russian, but this twisted tale clearly illustrates that inbred, back-woods brainless idiots exist outside of America.
‘Natalya’ and ‘Bubba’ are drinking heavy. They’re running out of booze and cash so they go to their neighbor, whom we’ll call ‘Snuffy’. Natalya didn’t like the way Snuffy snubbed her and Bubba when they went begging for beer money. So Natalya snaps, knocks Snuffy to the ground and proceeds to strangle the poor soul with her bare hands. Apparently her hands were not quite enough to get the job done and she needed a little more leverage. So she allegedly uses her own bra to finish him off. No brainer, right?
As I said, some things you just cannot make up. Here’s the AP version of the events - Death by bra!