A Love Letter To Kellie Pickler
My dearest Kellie,
I thought I had gotten over this crush I had on you, but then I saw a video of your recent appearance on Ellen. The fact that you were so excited to knock back a couple shots of the Old Number 7 made these feelings come rushing back to me!
You may not remember it, Kellie, but you and I shared a special moment a few years ago. Lucky for me, the moment was documented with a photograph.
Yes, that’s you giving me a peck right there on the cheek. Now, at the time, you were in a relationship with Kid Rock, so I didn’t push the issue. I let myself go on hiding my love. Well, Kellie, a lot has changed since then. I didn’t think I was man enough to go against Kid for your affection then, but I’ve grown in the last few years and am pretty sure I could take him now! Of course, he doesn’t seem to be in the picture anymore, so I guess that’s a moot point.
Now, I do realize that you’ve had a few changes since our special moment too. I’m not talking about shaving your head or that new album you have. I’m talking about that pesky “husband situation” that seems to be standing in our way. Well, I’ve got an answer to that! A wise man once told me, “The best thing about wedding rings…they come off.” Think about that for a second…ok?
Now Kellie, how about this? Let’s just meet up for a drink sometime and see how things go. We can go out to P2 here in Wichita Falls on a Thursday night. They have $1 beers till 7pm, so, I’ll even pay for the drinks. My friend, Mallory, is a bartender there, so I’ll make sure we don’t have to wait in line with the common folks. Heck, if all goes well, we can even get dinner while we’re there. They have a great Steak on Garlic!
Now I know you seems to be more of a whiskey fan (one of the qualities I adore about you) but don’t worry. They let you bring in your own bottle, and as you can see, I’m a Jack Daniels connoisseur myself.
So, Kellie, shoot me an e-mail, let me know what Thursday works for you, and let’s get this thing started!